Ranking the Stadium Series/Winter Classic Jerseys

The NHL has three outdoor games scheduled for 2016, the Winter Classic (Bruins-Habs) in Foxboro, and 2 Stadium Series games (Wild-Hawks and Wings-Aves) in Minneapolis and Denver, respectively.

One of the best things about these outdoor games are the specialized jerseys that come with them. The reason that these sweaters are always a welcome perk isn’t because they are always sweet jerseys, but because they are almost always either (fire flames emoji) or (poop emoji). Almost never in between, and at either extreme, they make great content, be it for your blog, podcast or group text.

2016 is no different, so let’s take a look, and power rank the outdoor jerseys for this NHL season.

(Note: It should be noted that this is susceptible to sensibilities for the obvious reason that you are judging  what amounts to art, but also because the Stadium Series looks are always much more experimental and even futuristic, which gives the throwback Winter Classic ones a distinct advantage.)

(Note 2: I reserve the right to completely change my mind based on how they actually look on the ice.)

6. Boston Bruins



You know what has never been a great idea? A dark brown jersey. Like, never. You know how you can make a dark brown jersey even worse? Mix it with mustard yellow stripes and WHITE NUMBERS.

The old school Bruins logo is legitimately cool and I probably would have had this above the Hawks if they had simply used colored numbers, but the white numbers take it from a decent jersey even if it’s got bad colors to a clashing monstrosity.

Grade: D+

5. Chicago Blackhawks



The good – The Blackhawks have a good logo. That’s it. Otherwise, these are puke city.  Some people are fired up about the six stars from the Chicago flag, but frankly that does noting for me. The shoulder caps are weird, the oversized shoulder numbers are ugly. Too much black and white, not  enough tones or trim, and the only color outside of the logo is a single elbow stripe. They manage to somehow walk the line between boring and tacky.

Grade: C-

That’s the bad. Now on to the good.

4. Montreal Canadiens


thumb (2)

The #4 ranking really isn’t fair for these Canadiens sweaters, which I actually really like.

First things first, in the unveiling pictures they appear to be an old school sort of off-white. Here’s hoping that is a more accurate depiction than the one on the NHL shop which appears to be a more traditional white.

As for the jerseys themselves, there are only so many directions that you can go with a Habs jersey, and what this one lacks in originality, it makes up for in sharpness.  The blue looks great, the mirroring of the chest on the sleeves is great, and I really like the two stripes at the bottom (an underutilized jersey trim.

Grade: B+

3. Detroit Red Wings


(No further photo identification needed

There seem to be differing opinions on this one, but I like it, and here’s why:

Firs of all, I kind of like the idea that it is a fresh, different jersey, and yet the signature back of the jersey remained unchanged.

Also a fan of the D logo, a classic but also sort of modern/italic looking design, and the classic winged wheel looks awesome on the shoulder. Finally, with the dual-chromed design, the bigger arm numbers look way better than they have on the other jerseys to use them for stadium games.

As for the diagonal chest stripe, I don’t know…I like it.

Grade: B+

2. Minnesota Wild



It was really hard not to put these at number 1.

First of all I’m just a huge fan of the off-white, forest-green and dark-red color scheme.  Arguably (probably) my favorite for any sports team. Just looks unbelievably sharp with any design.

As I go through this it is hitting home that the big numbers are a fact of life with the stadium jerseys, and like Detroit, they work here. Unlike with some designs, I actually think that the bigger numbers are a plus with this jersey, because of the spacing and the breadth of the arm strips. I’m also a big fan of shoulder caps, and the off white ones are great here.

Also major shoutout to the Wild for actually having the full uniform in the photoshoot.  Couldn’t for the life of me find that for any others, and in a shocking turn of events that was more helpful and interesting than players standing awkwardly with the sweaters pulled over street clothes.

Grade: A

1. Colorado Avalanche


(While we’re grading things, Landeskog’s mop gets an A+++)




thumb (1)

Sharp all around.  Great colors, love what they’ve done with the sleaves, the new logo is great and the elevation is a nice touch.

I’ve bumped them up because it’s much harder to design an alternate white than an alternate colored jersey, and because the Avalanche rolled them out at the same time as these:



Which are (insert 10 million fire emojis).

Hopefully by next year these two will be the full time getups for the Avalanche.

SO…there you go, your official jersey rankings for the year. Now we just need to kill a month so that we can see these babies on the ice and figure out if I was full of crap on the entire list.


Prep School Hockey Report – NHL Central Scouting Draft List

The NHL Central Scouting service came out with their ‘players to watch’ list today, and 15 New England Prep School Players made the cut, down from 18 last year. All 15 received a ‘C’ grade indicating a 4th round or later projection (last year 1- Ryan Donato- received a ‘B.’).

Of those, 4 came from Avon Old Farms, 3 from South Kent, 2 from Cushing and 1 each from Hotchkiss, The Gunnary, Belmont Hill, St. Sebastian’s, Thayer and Exeter.

The numbers aren’t great, but they aren’t terrible, either, especially considering that multiple college coaches have claimed that Prep School hockey is significantly down from where it was even five or ten years ago.

Anyways, I know that this might not exactly have mass appeal, but when there is relevant or borderline relevant prep hockey news (and I am looking to kill 10 minutes) this is the place you (might) get it.

Lance Berkman is an Idiot

(HT: Out Sports and Patrick Burke)

Today in ‘Quotes that Sound Like they are (and you wish were) from an Onion Article’:

‘Tolerance is the virtue that is killing this country.’

First things first a virtue can’t be killing something so that’s an oxymoron and you, Lance, are an oxymoron minus the Oxy. And (just in case you’re reading this–LIKELY!) since you’re IQ appears to be well below room temperature, Lance, I will unpack that for you: I’m saying that you’re a MORON.

On top of that, anytime you want to refer to something as ‘ruining’ or ‘killing’ this country, do yourself a favor: just shut the fuck up. ISIS might be killing Syria. Antisemitism probably killed the Third Reich (that one was for the better)

Finally, you will notice that I didn’t say that Lance Berkman a bigot or a homophobe (the comments were in reference to something he referred to as an LGBT agenda) or anything of that nature (he complained about being called a bigot. You might be/probably are but that’s not my point so you’re welcome, buddy). I’m saying that he is a moron and an idiot.

He double-negative’d himself slash had a Freudian slip while doing the whole I’m not saying I hate gay people but here’s why I hate gay  people song and dance (Berkman, again, might be insulted with the insinuation that he did a song and dance because he probably thinks that singing and dancing are gay)  when he said “I’m not against discriminating against anybody.” That was his exact quote.

Typical Yankee…

(You played 37 games for the Yankees in your 1800 game career. That part about the Yankees was a joke, Lance. Because I root against the Yankees and even though you probably didn’t pick this up as a Yankee I thought that it would be a funny jab to say that you did.

That was a joke.  The part about you being a bigot and an idiot wasn’t.)

Anyways, here is Lance Berkman striking out and getting thrown out of a game because that feels appropriate.

The Cowboys QB situation is a Mess. It Needs to be Kellen Time. 

The Cowboys quarterback situation is utterly broken. It is completely broken and it’s an embarrassment. There is absolutely ZERO chance that they are winning an NFL game with Matt Cassel, who lacks any level of awareness and seems unaware that the rules allow him to throw the ball more than 4 yards downfield. 

He is a guy who couldn’t make a team that currently employs Tyrod Taylor and EJ Manuel at quarterback. 

I’m not even going to get started on Brandon Weeden because he is also freaking terrible. 

When Romo went down, I called for Kellen Moore to get a chance. I did so partially as a joke, and partially as a Boise State fan. 

Today, I’m doing the same thing and calling for Kellen, but this time in a different capacity. This time, purely as a Cowboys fan, I want to see Kellen Moore under center. And I say that 100% seriously. 

It has now been PROVEN that we aren’t going to win with Weeden or Cassel and we have a few more weeks of this shit before Romo comes back. Bringing in another quarterback to learn the system would be pointless. 

I’m not under any deluded impression that Kellen is going to come in and be a pro-bowler, but he is a smart quarterback and a proven winner. The game plan here is clearly to ride McFadden with Romo out, and I really believe that Moore would do a better job of managing that. 

The knock on Kellen has always been his arm strength, but right now we have a ‘big arm’ guy who objectively failed in Weeden, and a guy who took two shots down field all day, both of which were a disaster. They have done NOTHING that Moore wouldn’t be capable of doing. 

At this point, it’s time to get Cassel out of there. We took a shot on him and it failed. Doesn’t mean it was a bad idea, but it didn’t work and that’s that. The best play moving forward is to cut losses there, activate Moore and have Weeden back him up. It’s time he at least got his shot. 

Nit Picks 9: Winners

1. Is it just me or are we in the midst of the rarely seen ‘dog days’ of football? Could have something to do with the fact that Boise is probably better than the rest of their conference, but out of contention for anything meaningful, and the Cowboys are in injury induced purgatory, but I feel like I am reaching for topics at the moment. Don’t get me wrong football weekends are still the GOAT, but I’m running thin on storylines that are really grabbing me right now.

2. If you are a procrastinator like myself then you may find yourself looking for a last minute Halloween costume I am, every year). Don’t worry, I got you. Find some USC gear, and an empty liquor bottle and boom: Steve Sarkesian. Not only is it an easy costume, but that way if/you get drunker than everyone else at the party, you have a built in excuse. You were just staying in character. ACTING! Anyways, there you go. Don’t say I never did anything for you.

3. And you couldn’t say that anyways, because I’m out here every week bringing you F’ING WINNERS.

4. Well not last week. That was a debacle. 3-7. Woof. In my defense, I did it like 15 minutes before the 3:00 games started, without giving it any thought beyond going down lines and pulling a few games out, and with a limited slate, although that isn’t really a defense so much as an explanation of how I f’ed up but WHATEVER MAN. I’m back below .500 and I feel shame. Of course we are DIGGING BACK OUT THIS WEEK BABY!

5. I had a nice little moment of gambler empathy last weekend, when my buddy was talking about how he was going to ‘lose so much money on the NFL tomorrow.’ Some idiot asked him why he didn’t just not bet on the games, to which I responded ‘yeah that’s not an option.’ Some people get it some people don’t. He followed by pointing out that when you are down like he is you can’t stop because you need to get closer to the black, which was cool because it allowed me to yell ‘JUST NEED A BIGGER SHOVEL, BABY!’ This was in a semi-professional setting btw.

6. Week 7 Power Rankings: NFL (Yeah I know I’m reaching for topics.)

  1. New England Patriots

2. Green Bay Packers

3. Carolina Panthers

4. Dallas Cowboys with Tony Romo

5. Honestly you can have everyone else

A billion. Dallas Cowboys without Tony Romo

7. Shoutout to sports. The World Series takes one day off and what do sports do? They COME THROUGH IN THE CLUTCH with SIX college football games and a Pats game in the NFL on a Thursday night. Throw in 8 NHL games and BOOM. Awesome night even on a travel day for the MLB (get the fuck out of here though if you wanna talk NBA though). Damn. Shoutout to you, sports. You da real MVP. (and yeah I’ll be in class for basically all of it but I can still appreciate a good sports night and also may or may not do some in class streaming.)

8. Playoff Projections, week 9:

Ohio State



I guess…Stanford?

9. That’s a projection, not an ‘if the season ended today. That would be:




Ohio State

So there you go.


Ole Miss (-7.5) over Auburn

Virginia Tech (-2) over Boston College

Cal (-6) over USC

Florida (-3) over Georgia

Georgia Tech (-6) over Virginia

Oklahoma State (-3) over Texas Tech

Minnesota (+14) over Michigan

Kentucky (+9) over Tennessee

Giants (+3) over Saints

Browns (+6) over Cardinals

3-7 on the week 32-35-3 on the year

The Remix You Didn’t Know You Wanted


Adele is currently killing the game, as the kids say, with her latest banger ‘Hello.’ My commute is about four songs long and the other day I spent it by listening to ‘Hello’ twice, and ‘Sorry’ by Bieber twice.  Best commute I’ve had in a while (although that’s partially because I usually listen to a 2 month old episode of Yuppie Junk or something because none of the podcasts I want to listen to have come out yet).

Anyways, that song has been remixed by none other than the realist Ricky Rose aka the Teflon Don aka Rick Ross. Did we ask for this? No. Did we need this? No. Did we want this? Hard to say since I never would have realized it was a possibility.  BUT WE GOT IT, and that’s what matters.  And honestly, it’s kida fire.  Sure, it is basically just ‘Hello’ with one verse from Ross, but I’ll take it.

PS. The thought of the Teflon Don on a laptop, going ‘oh shit the new Adele dropped,’ listening to it, nodding his head to hello from the other side…., getting emotional and eventually going ‘YO I GOTTA SPIT A BAR TO THIS ADELE TRACK’ is not kinda funny, it is HYSTERICAL.