A Short Message for People Who Still Want to Hate Sid Crosby and LeBron James

Short and sweet. I’m up to my eyeballs in bar review, hence the OVS dormancy, but the bay’s NHL and NBA teams just went down within a week to the best players in their respective sports from the great lakes/rust belt area. the similarities in the two scenarios was a little bit….wait for it…Erie.

Anyways, Sid and Bron are all timers and if you disagree, congratulations. You’re wrong.

Actual analysis hopefully to follow, but probably not because bar prep is going to kill me.

Also Bron was great in Trainwreck.

This April Fools Video Might Actually Be on to Something

via Austin

First of all they had me at the name Nimbus Mayweather. Hilarious from start to finish. On the real, though, if I could I would 100% buy some mountain air if I could. Kinda why the video works, it’s obviously ridiculous, but there is a moment where you go ‘shit, I would by Jackson Hole air if I could.’ Not a bottle maybe, but if I could pipe it into my house? That would be AWESOME.

Could be a billion dollar business idea. Take Rocky Mountain air and pipe it into houses in cespool cities like LA or LA. Maybe even just lie and mark up the price of air conditioners because people who live in LA on purpose are morons (sorry, WIll).

Anyways, this is a big opportunity, and I’m in with CAPITAL. So do me a favor and if you’re an investor, get at me. Also if you are a science person who knows how to actually make this happen. Also, don’t steal my ideas. In fact, consider this a patent.

Basically like that, except with intellectual property.

March Madness Day 2 Live Blog

7:23: Wrapping it up with this. Good night and good luck.

7:01: We just checked analytic and our total page views for this are…17. We are gonna go into full blown social media pimping. So if you found us through that…welcome.

6:58: This tournament is nuts.  I’m actually feeling better about not having Michigan State with a 2,3,4, and like 3 5s out of the tournament,  On top of that I feel like every seed 6-11 was basically a toss up, and I know for a fact that some 11 and 10 seeds were actually favorites (Zaga). Crazy tourney.. It’s been fun.

6:53: I have literally been trying to upload that for an hour.  Had to go to YouTube to actually get it done, but there you go. CONTENT, baby.

6:40: GOT IT!!

6:30: Gonna take another shot at getting this video back up. Wish me luck.

6:22: Phone died. Apologies for the lack of #content, but WE BACK!

5:50: Wisco came back and won a game that they were down like 20 in which neither team hit 50. Given the low scoring, that is a MASSIVE comeback. Did I have Pitt. Of course I did.

5:43: Immediate apologies to Bianca. She came through and put in another round so….crisis averted.

5:42: Arguing with Andrew about Neighbors 2. He thought the first one was funny. Maybe it was. I think the concept (Last time they moved next to a fraternity this time it’s a SORORITY!!!) is offensively lazy. Also our drinks are empty and our waitress Bianca is nowhere to be found.

5:40: The phone is at 9% but I have the brightness all the way down to draw this out. Warriors are tipping now anyways so it might be time to head back to the house.

5:35: The delay in #content is due entirely to WordPress’s refusal to upload this video. Time to move along.

5:25: Waitress asked what we would like on one of the TVs. Asked for Hawks-Jets on NHL Network. It’s a basketball live blog but a tiger can’t change its stripes.

5:12: I did a Live Blog Wing assessment because content never sleeps, but the upload isn’t going through. Thanks for nothing WordPress.

5:05: I think with Michigan State out and my bracket hopeless I’m going into full ‘let’s see chaos’ mode. Unless you’re a basketball purist who wants to see the highest level of competition or whatever (spoiler alert I’m not) you should too.

5:01: who wore white pants to get wings? This guy.

4:55: we in here


4:51: Proof:


Gonna be tough to get a laptop on there.

4:50: Content is slowing. I’m aware and I’m working on it. I don’t make excuses but if I made excuses I would say that we got a small table so this is from my phone. Working on it.

4:40: Pretty happy with this text exchange from yesterday:



Nobody not from Connecticut got that but I don’t care.

4:33: President Bartlet is slinging cars on TV now. Quite the fall from the wildly successful 2 term presidency.

4:30: Finally heading out. I’m probably not going to walk into the restaurant and ask “is this place laptop friendly?”, but I should. 

4:27: Andrew is back. Asked him if he has anything to say to “the people.” He said that he really needs UW-Green Bay to win here.  Asked him 3 times if he meant the Badgers.  Nope. He picked UWGB to beat A&M. Aggressive.

4:22: Ethan Happ was just referred to being from an athletic family because he is related to JA Happ.  Can’t say I’ve ever looked at JA and thought ‘WOW! What an athlete!’ but sure, I guess.

4:20: Only Wisconsin would have a team so white they feel the need to wear jerseys that make it look like they are wearing a belt to play hoops.  That joke worked better in my head.

4:17: I think Andrew fell asleep in the shower or something. I need wings NOW.

4:15: Charles just claimed that “Michigan State played well, Middle Tennessee just played better.” No they didn’t. They are a two seed. They lost to a fifteen. They, Michigan State, lost to MTSU. They face(use your imagination)d my bracket sideways. They didn’t play well Chuck.

4:12: I can promise not to drink too many beers and let it get in the way of the #content, but as the drinking progresses I can’t guarentee that you wont see an uptick in the amount of “shoutout to…” updates.

4:07: I’m going with the gameday polo/visor/boat shoes combo. I call it “Dad-who-coaches-little-league-or-maybe-JV-football-chic.’

4:04: Andrew is in the shower then we are heading out to beer and wings.  Just asked the room if bringing a laptop to (REDACTED-No free publicity until I know if the laptop is cook) would be frowned upon.  Got a “probably not” so I’m going for it.

4:02: Quick shoutout to Will DeFries and Bill Simmons, pioneers of the live blog/running diary game. It’s an honor to share the interwebs with you.

3:55: in case you were wondering (you probably weren’t) Michigan State pretty much sank my bracket (Kansas winning it won’t do much for me since everyone has the fighting Bill Selfs), but my bets are hovering around .500 and poised to make a run, so my spirits are strong.

3:45: The plan is to really kick it into gear for the 4:00 hour tips so buckle up. We are going to get wings but I’m bringing my laptop. Should be good.

3:30: Okay we are BACK!

1:50: Not gonna lie, losing Sparty hurt. I should have known better though, since they were in the Big10 Championship this year and This isn’t Football. Oh well.

1:30: We went to the gym. Sorry. This is probably why I only have 155 Twitter followers.

12:37: Michigan and Cal are both on upset alerts here (although Cal is making a run), but we are debating Adam LaRoche.  Consensus seems to be that he was going to walk away anyways and this was the reason that he used, and that it’s not reasonable to expect to take your TEENAGE son to work EVERY DAY. Also that his 14 year old home schooled son is going to be a f’ing wierdo. I don’t get the players rallying around him. LaRoche quit on you because he couldn’t bring his son to work EVERY DAY.

Carrabis put it best. Thank god for the White Sox, making the Red Sox spring look at least a little bit better.

12:30: We are coming to you LIVE from Campbell California.  We are a little bit late getting started here but last night was St. Patricks Day, my buddy from high school is in town and so… use your imagination. Suffice to say it has been a slow morning.

Thus far we have gotten breakfast sandwiches, he has been doing work like a sucker, Syracuse took it to Dayton and Nova ran Ashville out of the gym. If you’re keeping score at home, that’s 1-1 for your boy.

Stay tuned though, I’ll keep you updated with scores, observations and dumb jokes throughout the day.

An Obstructed View Sports NCAA Tournament Preview (From a Position of Complete Ignorance)

So a few things that you should read before you get into this:

First of all if you are in a pool with me, please STOP READING NOW. I can’t have anyone taking advantage of a free look into my FOOLPROOF strategy (most foolproof strategies come from a “position of complete ignorance.” Ask Donald Trump.) and undercutting my retirement fund AKA ESPN Tournament Challenge winnings. (Just kidding you can read on, I’m about dem pageviews)

Second of all, I am in a pretty bad spot here. I listen to just enough talk radio that I have a vague idea who is good, but I have watched little enough that I have insufficient insight to actually make informed upset picks.

That means, I guess, that I need a different reason for the picks that I make, and that reason will be the same as most of America: a minimal amount of research done while avoiding an undesirable task (in my case pretty much the rest of my life).

That’s boring though. So here is my bracket, and below are a number of explanations that are not my actual reasons for the picks, but are in fact reasons that I made up after picking #Winners based on my limited research that are probably just as reasonable as a perusal of RPI and best wins/worst losses, and definitely more entertaining. So LET’S GO!

bracket

Okay so before we get into individual games, there are a few different games that foll into the same reasoning. Here are those reasons:

This isn’t Football. 

Usually, you see a team that went to a BCS game or that has a storied tradition on the gridiron and your subconscious goes ‘hey, they are better at sports than Xavier’ or whoever, and you want to go with the Michigans or the USCs or whoever. Last year, Vegas reported that teams with elite football programs experienced a 47% spike from the general public in both brackets and against the spread. Granted, I just made that stat up and it actually doesn’t really even mean anything (a 47% spike? In what? I don’t know.), but it sounds believable so go with it.

This year, though, I’m going to the other way, and picking AGAINST the teams with the stronger football programs because as Dick Vitale always says ‘BASKETBALL GAMES ARE WON ON THE HARDWOOD NOT ON THE GRIDIRON, BABY!’

For the above reasons, I am actively punishing teams in my picks for strong football performances, recent or historical, sometimes even against my better judgment.

Games in this category:

Duke over Oregon

Sorta torn on this one because Oregon is notorious for failing in post season play, which means maybe they should win in post season play with this not being football? I don’t know. Duke football is usually a joke though, so their bump offsets Oregon’s postseason failings.

Not strictly related but Oregon doesn’t get to play on a court designed to make opposing players think they are being sucked up by quicksand in the tournament. Another big disadvantage.

Duke over Oklahoma

See above.

Gonzaga over Utah 

Gonzaga doesn’t even have a program. Very strong commitment to this not being football.

Providence over USC

This one is slightly murky because of the next category, but Providance has absolutely no football background. USC has one of paying players and developing murderers. Advantage Friars.

West Virginia over Notre Dame 

It is Touchdown Jesus, not 3 point Jesus.

Villinova over Iowa

Will the energy expended making a Cinderella run at the Football playoff come back to hurt Iowa in the basketball tournament? Probably.

Arizona over Miami

“Hey Jack, Arizona has actually been better at football than Miami for the past decade or so.” Pipe down and watch a 30 for 30 for me. Despite recent failings in South Florida, Miami’s historical dominance in the 80s, 90s and 2000s should hurt them from the free throw line in this one.

This isn’t Hockey

See supra. 

North Carolina over Providence 

Pittsburgh over Wisconsin 

Duke over Yale 

The fact that Duke is the team that will be lined up with Yale and probably take them out was an unfortunate blow to the Cardale Jones memorial ‘We Ain’t Here to Play School’ category, but the hockey one will need to do.

The Pac-12 Is Overrated. 

I live on the West Coast, so you could say that I probably had the chance to watch a lot of Pac-12 basketball and therefore I can make an informed judgment that the Pac-12 isn’t as good as the committee thought. You could say that, but if you did you’d be wrong. I watched at most 2 or 3 Pac12 basketball games this year, and have absolutely no idea if they are any good at basketball this year. They could be awesome.

What actually happened is that I (somewhat arbitrarily) picked against Pac12 teams early on in my bracket decisions. This (my own arbitrary picks) gave me the impression that the Pac12 was almost definately overrated, which was a useful bit of information for the rest of my picks.

Specifically, I picked USC, Colorado and Oregon State to go out in the first round. If the Pac12 is going to lose 3 teams in the first round, then they are probably pretty overrated, so I considered that when picking Maryland over Cal in the second round. Well, if Cal, one of the more talented teams in the conference, is going to go out in round 2, then the conference must really not be that good at all, so despite high seeds, it must be safe to assume that Oregon is going to go down to Duke, and that Utah is probably going to lose to Gonzaga based upon their conferences well established massively inflated reputation (Both of these games were aided by the fact that this isn’t, in fact, football) and Arizona doesn’t have a chance to upset Miami (despite the fact that this isn’t football, although in recent years this might be helped by the fact that this isn’t football).

So there you go. Because the Pac12 is overrated, all of their teams are going to be out by the Sweet 16, which is proof that the Pac12 is in fact overrated, and also why the Pac12 is overrated.

My logic is flawless.

I heard One Thing on a Podcast, Took it as Gospel and Picked a Team Based on That 

This one is actually dead serious. I am easily influenced in a matter such as college basketball where I have no actual proprietary insight.

Kentucky over North Carolina

Ryen Russillo likes Kentucky’s guard play.

Michigan State over Virginia 

Big Cat said Virginia can’t shoot, and a bunch of people said that Michigan State could have been a one so…sold.

I Just Don’t Really Respect Your Program 

West Virginia over Xavier 

What is Xavier in, the Patriot League? Yeah, not fooling me with that fancy 2 seed.

Gonzaga over Seton Hall

Pretty sure that’s a prep school.

HEY I HAVE A CLOSE FRIEND/FAMILY MEMBER WHO WENT/GOES THERE

Cincy over Saint Joe’s 

Yale over Baylor

Pretty weak field from this, a standby category. Also only applies to round 1, evidently.  Opposite of a shoutout to Santa Clara, Boston College, Dartmouth, Brown, Occidental (just kidding that’s not a real school), South Carolina, Loyola, Minnesota, Boise State and San Francisco for all missing the tournament this year and making this basically useless.

Final Four

Kentucky, Michigan State, Kansas and Duke 

Do you want to bet against those programs? I don’t.

Also, my understanding is that Kansas is allegedly the best team in the country, so it seems like a good idea to have them in my final four, and, as it happens, my champion. That’s hard hitting analysis you won’t find just anywhere.

Prep School Hockey Update: Acciari Called Up, Kent is in the Show #MassAppeal


That pretty much sums it up. Kent School Lion and NCAA National Champion (that’s in order of importance) makes his NHL debut tonight for who cares there is a Kent grad playing in the NHL (okay it’s the Bruins).

Your boy will be locked into Bruins-Flames tonight. Who knew?

“If you see success in the Hockey (and hockey blogging) World, chances are there is a Kent connection somewhere.”

-Matt Greason, national championship winning coach for Trinity College, NBD but KBD (parenthetical mine).

And for those of you saying ‘hey Jack, nobody cares about your little prep/Kent hockey blogs,’ WRONG.  The Kent School hockey program does numbers. Drives eyeballs. Delivers every time. It’s SEO, really. Deal with it.

UPDATE: Second shift in, Acciari drives the net and was more or less 100% responsible for allowing Landon Ferraro to snipe. A quick +1 for Fighting Episcopalian Nation.

DAB ON ‘ER! (I can’t Stop Watching This)

I thought the Dab was dead in December, then the United States World Junior team routed Canada and dabbed right in their face, officially (in my brain) undeading the dab.

A couple months later, the dab has to have been redeaded by now right? I thought so. Cam Newton is associated with the dab as much as just about anyone, so when he didn’t dive on that fumble that was it, it had to be? Sheets for that (dance move? pose? thing?).

But when I’m wrong I’m wrong, and I was wrong.

The dab is back, thanks to this bro. And I can’t stop watching.

I would feel bad for that girl, but here’s the thing: I’m pretty sure, based on her hand placement when she went for the ill fated hug that this is a girlfriend situation. Here’s the thing: this can’t be much of a surprise. You don’t unintentionally date a ‘fake hug dab in your domeface’ guy. That’s not an accident. She knew what she was getting into. You don’t one day have a not  fake hug dab boyfriend then all of a sudden have a fake hug dab boyfriend. That is as embedded in this guy’s DNA as his blonde hair. Hell, this might not even be the first time he has pulled this off. This is the face of a chick who has been hug-dabbed on before:

sdcr0udvexsy9xgcbcus

I love everything about this picture. That is the face of victory and the face of defeat. I’ve gone 26 years and never fake hug dabbed on a single person. I feel like that’s gotta change.

Dumb, Racist Idiot Posts Dumb, Racist Article

Some people are dumb. Robert Spencer writes for a website that is dumb and racist called Jihad watch. I’m generally anti jihad as it pertains to killing people and Isis, but insofar as looking out for jihad by insinuating that because Nazem Kadri is Muslim he actually intended to kill Mark Giordano is dumb racist and generally a dick thing to say. If the NHL suspended every player who threatened to kill another player they wouldn’t have anyone to play the games (actually they should do this- I could keep my mouth shut and probably get at least a couple of games with someone).

The crux of the article is basically ‘I have a (albeit dumb and racist) brain so I know that this was not an actual murder threat but BLAHHBHH MUSLIMS SCARY all are the same 9/11 vote Trump.’ Which I found to be stupid. 

I went to Robert Spencer’s dumb racist website (don’t do that, it is pretty depressing-OVS does the dirty work so you don’t have to: JOURNALISM!) and I learned that he has been banned from the United Kingdom for being a dumb, racist idiot. I like the United Kingdom. He has also been “boycotted” by the US Conference of Catholic Bishops, I assume in the same way that I have been “boycotted” by the Victoria’s Secret Angels and their fashion show, in that VS Angels, I would think, have as much use for my average looking, not particularly talented self as the US Conference of Bishops have for a dumb racist idiot (which, I stress, Robert Spencer is). Also, and you aren’t going to believe this- he has appeared on Fox News a bunch. Shocking,

Anyways, Nazem Kadri was probably pretty dumb for making a throat slash gesture in an arena with hunderds of cameras around, but he most certainly isn’t a jihadist, his gesture most certainly had nothing to do with his religion, and Robert Spencer is most certainly a moron.

Scott’s Presence In Nashville Should Be a Magnificent One Off

A bunch of joker, non-hockey fans used their nerd computers to send John Scott to Nashville last weekend where he was ostracized, embarrassed himself, ruined the previously untarnished All-Star game and brought shame to his daughters.

Wait, no. My bad, it was the exact opposite.

By now you probably know: the Coyotes tough guy turned AHL pariah turned everyman hero, Scott was the most popular man in Nashville. He was embraced by his fellow all stars, the Nashville fans and even some previously dissenting media members. He unleashed a more-than-respectable 95+ mile per hour clapper, endeared himself with his thoughtful yet ‘aw shucks’ personality, scored twenty seconds into his first shift, added a breakaway snipe, and captained the underdog pacific to a 3-3 championship, earning MVP honors and closing out this entire saga, in retrospect, in the most fitting way possible.

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He came in as a controversial figure and left a hero, being carried off of the ice by his teammates with a significant payday and a new car for his expanding family. What started as a bit on the Merek vs. Wyshynski podcast  ended in a national feel good story.

It was an otherwise dark sports weekend and Scott was a prominent news story, that has been beat around extensively, but to me the takeaway is pretty clear.

The John Scott affair was, like the 3-3 tournament and the Nashville All-Star Weekend as a whole (minus whatever the hell that was on Friday Night), an unmitigated success. A home run. A+. It was the most I have EVER enjoyed an all-star game, and quite possibly my favorite sports moment of the year. I happened to be for Scott’s inclusion from the start (I consider myself to be a ‘lets see how it plays out’ sorta guy, and this was an enjoyable ‘what would happen if’ scenario), but that is more or less irrelevant.

You could have been for it or against it, but chances are that unless you are NBC Sports intermission Analyst Mike Millbury a complete curmudgeon, once 28 was there (or at least after he gave us a knee drop celly hard after his first goal) you were rooting for the big guy to put on a good show and go home happy. Public sentiment was obviously in his favor from the beginning, since it’s what got him into the game in the first place, but after his thoughtful, articulate and relatable Player’s Tribune piece, the support was overwhelming and, no matter what they thought of him going in, people were rooting for, of all people, John Scott.  It worked out better than we could possibly have hoped.

Now, we live in a dog chasing its tail echo chamber of a sports media world, and the questions being brought to the forefront now are along the lines of ‘is this a good thing‘ or ‘if this was so great how will it be duplicated? How are we going to top it? Do we always need fringe players in the All-Star games now?’

It seems pretty simple to me. The Scott thing was great. A confluence of circumstances dragged the NHL kicking and screaming into a wonderful day and a feel good story, but it shouldn’t be repeated simply because there is no possible way that it can be.

Think about it: a genuinely likable guy, one of the last true players of a given role (enforcer), a league that earnestly opposed his inclusion, thereby turning him into a hero, multiple facets of grassroots mobilization latching on to the cause, and a weekend where two old friends (Burns and Pavelski) ensured that Scott was made to look good. It isn’t a replicable scenario, and to attempt to synthesize it would pale in comparison to what we saw last weekend.

The Scott thing should be a special one off.

Does this mean that no All-Star game can be as good as this one? Maybe, at least not in the same way as this one.  That’s okay though. The NHL specifically has a winner with the 3-3 tournament format. It was supplemented with the fun of the enforcer stealing the show, but it would have been great entertainment without Scott. It’s a format that is and will be a winner (especially when combined with the Saturday night skills competition which has been entertaining year after year). It was great this year and will only get better as the NHL looks at what works and what can be improved with the event. So Scott made this one even more special, but the show that he provided wasn’t indispensable in making the weekend a success. It was the class participation/extra credit that took it from an A to an A+. The garnish, not the steak.

So there are plenty of things that we can take away from this weekend. We learned that fun things can happen in sports, sometimes in spite of a league’s objections.  We learned that the star players really do love the tough guys, and we were hopefully reminded that just because their skills don’t stand out among the best of the best in the world, the fourth liners in the league can do some impressive stuff even with their gloves on. So the Scott inclusion was entertaining, enlightening, and downright fun, but whether it ends in a John Scott NHL renaissance, a film adaptation, or with him making use of his Michigan Tech engineering degree at a 9-5 by this time next year, a weekend exactly like this won’t happen again. We shouldn’t try to make it. And that’s okay.