Nit Picks are a little late for this weekend, but still relevant, I promise. We have the usual ramblings with David Nelson, the college football system and more Drake, among other things, and with five links rather than picks that would have been dated by now.
1. Defenders of college football’s current system (actually, I’m not sure if there are any defenders of the system at this point. I guess that should be ‘people sighting hypothetical defenses of college football’s current system’) talk about how without a playoff, EVERY GAME MATTERS!!!!!
Truth is, in the absence of a playoff, 99% of the games are fucking meaningless. Sure, in week one, you can make the adorably flawed ‘every game is like a playoff game’ argument, but by week 2, at least 50% of the nation is playing games so meaningless that it could throw you into a fucking existential crisis if you think about it for too long. Besides, even in week one the season long playoff thing is only true if you justsohappen to finish the season with two unbeaten teams. If there are less than that it is more like every game is a playoff game except when it wasn’t for that one team that one week.
Anyways, I am going to San Diego this weekend to watch the Boise State-San Diego State game, and it is a bummer that with Boise State’s loss to TCU last week, it has been reduced to an exhibition. Sure, the Mountain West is still up in the air, but let’s be honest. No one cares. At all. Winning a mid major conference title means about as much as…I don’t know. I literally can’t think of anything of equivalent meaninglessness. So…yeah.
2. The OVS ‘Swag of the Week’ Award has never gone to anyone whose team lost by 37 points before. This is mainly because there has never been such thing as an OVS ‘Swag of the Week’ award. That sounds kind of dumb, and the word ‘swag’ has been pretty played out at this point. Besides that if there was a ‘swag of the week’ award, it wouldn’t go to someone whose team lost by 37 points. That much is obvious. You don’t have swag when you get your ass kicked. Everyone knows that. Fact is though, David Nelson has compelled me (given me no choice, really) to not only create a ‘swag of the week’ award, which will almost definitely not be given out weekly, but also to break the only stipulation that I had for the ‘swag of the week’ award, which is that it shouldn’t go to someone whose team lost by 37.
For those of you who don’t know (live under ‘swag’ rocks), David Nelson scored a touchdown in Dallas on Sunday, and proceeded to give the ball to his girlfriend, who is a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader. As I said, Nelson gave me absolutely no choice but to found the OVSSOTW Award, despite the fact that ‘swag’ has been overused. That is because what he did is the very definition of swag. Not kidding. If you look up the word swag, it will be defined as scoring a touchdown, and presenting the ball to your dimeshow girlfriend who is a cheerleader for the other team. If the word is defined in any other way, it is only because it hasn’t been updated since Nelson pulled that, and such high levels of swag had previously been thought to be impossible.
3. Wait so the Broncos are actually trying to win football games in the NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE by running the veer with Tim Tebow? The FUCKING VEER? Holy fuck that is some shit. I love it. This totally proves that he is a franchise quarterback, right? The fact that his coaching staff is willing to let 280 pound linebackers tee off on him on RUNNING PLAYS. Yep. IN IT FOR THE LONG HAUL! How could it possibly go wrong! Also, did I mention that IT IS THE FUCKING VEER!? Really, John Fox? Was he sitting around on the Broncos off week watching We Are Marshall, going ‘FUCK IT WORKED FOR MCCONAUHEY!’ (I really hope that is exactly how it happened, by the way).
And you, Kansas City. Don’t think I forgot about you, you incompetent fucks. You lost to the veer. Read that sentence again. You lost to Tim Tebow and the veer. I don’t want to exaggerate how bad that is, but the league really should just take over the franchise, fire everyone and start from scratch. If that isn’t in the bylaws, it should be: “rule 142.c.ii. If you lose to a team running an offense from the Roosavelt administration, the NFL takes over your franchise and guts it.” That needs to be in the next CBA.
4. I really want to stay away from talking about the Penn State scandal as much as possible. The whole thing is terrible, and it is beyond unfortunate that Paterno’s legacy will be tainted by this. But, there is just too much going on not to talk about it a little bit.
I just listened to Sandusky’s interview with Bob Costas from the other night and HOOOLY SHIT he sounded like the guiltiest person in the history of guilt, people and guilty people. The most telling part was that he only denied anything when directly asked if he did it. If there was any chance he was innocent, he would have responded to questions like do you feel bad about what has happened at Penn State or pretty much any other question by vigorously denying that he did anything wrong. Think about it. If you were falsely accused of this, you would respond to “Good evening Mr. Sandusky” with ‘THIS IS MALARKEY. I AM BEING RAILROADED. I DID NOTHING WRONG!’ and basically continue to yell that until Costas hung up.
He said he didn’t, but showed an utter lack of conviction, while his lawyer sat there wishing he could just have defended Saddam Hussein or Hitler instead, because they would have at least acted like they meant it when they denied their crimes.
5. Music Rant of the Week – When Drake’s album leaked last week (yeah, this again. Sorry, but I have a point I promise) the response was basically to say ‘fine but please buy it anyways,’ and then to do nothing for ten days until it was officially released a week later. I’m convinced that this was a mistake on their part. Obviously, the album was ready to go, since the leaked version was exactly like the official version. This being the case, they should have done everything possible to get the official album available for purchase immediately. The reason is simple.
A lot of people who are going to feel compelled to pay for the album are Drake’s biggest fans. Those same people, though, are going to want to have the album as soon as they get it. By waiting, and releasing the album as planned, Young Money Entertainment left people to choose between the two desires. Now, some people may have done what Drake himself requested and downloaded the leak, before buying it legitimately when it came out (ME! ME! I DID THIS! I AM SELF RIGHTEOUS AND AWESOME! /downloads six other albums off of mediafire), but I’m sure plenty of people who would have paid for Take Care if they didn’t have to wait 10 days to do so either talked themselves out of it over that time, or else forgot that they were going to pay when the album came out.
This problem is hardly unique to Take Care or Drake. More or less every album leaks these days (although Young Money seems to have a particularly hard time keeping them under wraps). Right now, the labels are doing nothing about it, and as a result they are losing money. Instead of waiting, they need to start doing everything possible to move up release dates in order to give people who want to give them money the chance to do so.
The rants weren’t dated by Sunday afternoon, but obviously picks would be. So here are 5 links instead.
- You aren’t going to believe this, but the Jamboroo was good this week! [Deadspin]
- Jon Caramanica did a great job with his review of ‘Take Care.’ A good read, whether you like Drake or not. [NY Times]
- Lot of people were sending this out…a good read on life in the NFL [NY Times]
- LOLNFL is always enjoyable from KSK [KSK]
- One Bronco Nation Under God more or less summs up what did the Broncos in last week [OBNUG]